You are enough for yourself!
I never was looking for love.. well at least that’s what I thought.
Like every other person in the 21st century, post-pandemic and in need of human interaction, I downloaded a bunch of dating apps. Name it, I’ve had it and if I didn’t it was probably only because I wasn’t aware of it.
Tinder, Bumble, Taimi, Grindr, Plenty of fish, Match.com, Hornet, and many others are all built the same way. Even if they say they are meant to be deleted, dating apps, are basically like drugs and toxic. But why? Why don’t you delete them? Why don’t you just stop using them? All of the questions you may ask can seem easy to answer but I swear, you’ll always be back. At least until you truly put yourself and your happiness in perspective.
You need to hear that you care enough for yourself. Today, this precise moment where you’re reading this, this is the moment to say it. Look at yourself in the mirror and say it out loud. “I am enough for myself”.
Why are these apps toxic?
How do dating apps works? They ask you a bunch of questions and open up a marketplace of people for you to judge from 3 to 4 profile pictures of happy moments, travel, adventure, good restaurant, and maybe with filters or retouched in Photoshop… You write a “bio” of 200 characters and tell how great you are and why people should swipe right for you!
In perspective, 200 characters to describe yourself seem enough but is it tho? Does it tell you anything about the person you truly are seeking? Does it show you moments where you were human and needed someone to talk to? Have you seen goofy pictures of the person waking up and just not caring about their look? NO, IT DOES NOT!!
Start the healing process
Okay, I must admit that the healing process may seem harsh at first but I truly think we need to heal from everything we see online and what we go through when using dating apps.
You’ve been blocked, your matches got deleted, you’ve been told “Sorry not my type” and many other things that may at first seem inoffensive but after a while, it starts to dig a hole in you, in your own person. You may not even be aware but it’s there and it’s getting deeper day after day.
“I delete dating apps and re-download them like I change t-shirt every day, how can I change this mindset?” Talk with someone, your friend, family, or anyone with whom you really connect. Tell them whenever you feel like downloading and retrying the process again and ask for their help. Help seems like overdoing ourselves here, let’s say ask them to tell you that “YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR YOURSELF”! Love is not something you look for. Of course, some people will meet on a dating app and other social media but the real connection and that spark that makes you go cray-cray is not on dating apps. Again, this is my point of view, but that’s how I feel about it.
End the taboos
You read that right, let’s talk about what you can do to.. you know to spice up things by yourself. Go to any local sex shop and look at your options. Not convinced with the “going out” to buy option? Well, why not use this wonderful thing called the internet!
How are sex toys a good tool to help?
Hookups are usually one-sided. I say usually ’cause you might find someone with whom you will really have fun in the bedroom but let’s be honest. That’s not always true... Unlike hookups, sex toys won’t bring down your confidence, they won’t make you feel ashamed of yourself. It’s time to learn and understand what makes you feel good, what you like and don’t. This way, when you’ll meet someone, you will know how to tell them what you like or dislike.
Love yourself before loving others
You heard that correctly! Fall in love with the person you are, love every curve, body part, or aspect of yourself before loving someone else. You can’t run a marathon with sandals. The comparison might be way different but it comes down to the same logic. You can’t love someone else before loving yourself.
